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Positive Writer

Monthly Archives

January 2020

Stop Killing Your Creative Genius With Ridiculous Comparisons (This Is How To Become The Greatest You Can Be)

Stop Killing Your Creative Genius With Ridiculous Comparisons (This Is How To Become The Greatest You Can Be)

written by Bryan Hutchinson

Perhaps you recently went on Facebook and saw that your hero (or your nemesis) published a new article that went crazy viral, or maybe they published a new book that hit the NYT’s bestseller list (it went all the way up to #1!), and to make matters worse, they posted pictures of their wonderful new house… and it hurts.

It hurts because no matter how hard you try you can never match up, much less surpass what they’re doing.

If we’re honest, we all have those people in our lives, on our Facebook/Twitter/Insta feeds.

Here’s what we have to do about them:

Okay, no, don’t scream. It’s going to be ok. (Well, scream if you really want to!)

  1. We have to do our own thing.
  2. Live our own lives.
  3. Create our own art.
  4. And, achieve our own results.

Too many of us fail not because we’re not good enough or that we don’t have the desire or the tenacity. No, we fail because we can never measure up.

We can never measure up to perception.

A study by Gothenburg Research Institute found that people who spent more time on Facebook ended up feeling less happy and confident. Abstract: “When Facebook users compare their own lives with others’ seemingly more successful careers and happy relationships, they may feel that their own lives are less successful in comparison.”

Even if you were to reach, or surpass, your hero’s achievements you would likely soon find someone else to unfairly compare yourself to, and thus, no matter how successful and happy you could be, you choose to be unhappy and unfulfilled because of what someone else is doing (or appears to be doing).

That’s right, it’s a choice. To compare or not compare is a choice. It always has been.

Ask yourself this:

Are you living and working towards your own goals or are you working towards what someone else has chosen for themselves?

There’s something better for you.

It’s okay to measure ourselves and look at how far we’ve come and how far we still have to go, but it should be for ourselves and what we want and not for someone else and what they want.

We all get mixed up in this at some point when we forget what we want and get caught up in living up to someone else’s dream because their achievements are so bright and shiny and seem so much better.

You know your situation is bad when you find yourself silently rejoicing (even if it’s secretly) at your nemesis’ missteps. This isn’t you.

Their dream is not yours. Their work style, their creativity, and their ‘life’ are not yours. You are a separate creation, with your own dreams and desires.

It’s okay to celebrate others and honestly say to yourself, “This isn’t for me, but I am happy for you!” By doing this, you release yourself from the limits you’ve put on your own destiny.

So many of us get terribly lost or are severely delayed because we’re fixated on what others are doing (or seem to be doing) and where they have chosen to go.

Your potential is incredible, beyond what you realize, and yet, it’s easily lost when you try to measure up to someone else’s potential and end up disregarding your own.

Don’t do that. The pain and regret that follows when you realize what’s happened is not worth it. Reach for your own potential.

Do your own thing.

The NYT’s bestseller list might not currently be your goal. Maybe you prefer to write a brilliant screenplay that will never appear on any bestseller’s list. But if you take on someone else’s goal you’ll end up half-assing a so-so novel when you could’ve been passionately writing your screenplay.

Why desire your hero’s penthouse in the city when you prefer the “home” feel of the small-town life?

Why seek to find your voice when you never lost it? Because someone else is openly searching for theirs you suddenly feel yours isn’t good enough? Hogwash!

These are not The Way. You’ll end up quitting if you follow such ways.

Serious writers never quit, they follow their own path and tell their own stories in their own ways.

Now it’s time to tell yours–your way.

12 Ways Writers Can Kick Fear in the Butt and Do Their Best Work

12 Ways Writers Can Kick Fear in the Butt and Do Their Best Work

written by Frank McKinley

When you write something and share it with the world, you might feel like a naked performer at the world’s biggest talent show.

You’re okay when you don’t think about being naked. But then the realization hits you. So you grab all the fig leaves you can to cover up the sensitive areas.

Or maybe you feel so embarrassed you swear you’ll never show your face or tell your story in public again.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

Today, we’ll look at fear – what it really is, and some practical strategies you can adopt so the most common fears writers face won’t have their way with you.

Ready to kick fear in the butt?

Let’s do this!

What Fear Really Means

When you’re not sure what a word means, you look to the dictionary.

Often we use words in ways they weren’t intended. If enough people do it, the use becomes the meaning. If you want to kick fear in the butt before it kicks yours, you should know what you’re dealing with.

Here’s the best definition I could find: 

an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

When you’re really afraid, your brain freezes. Maybe you don’t feel you can do anything but cower and cover up. But how will you know if you don’t stop for a minute and ask this question:

Is this really dangerous?  

If not, quit worrying and start kicking.

If so, how can you reduce the danger? How can you approach this from strength and not weakness? How can you press on no matter how much your knees knock together?

Dale Carnegie offers a great solution to this problem. In his book How to Stop Worrying and Start Living, he urges readers to ask and answer these two questions:

  1. What am I worrying about?
  2. What can I do about it?

You have more control than you think. Face the worst by making the best of it.

The most important thing to remember is fighting fear is active, not passive.

What follows are tangible ways you can be proactive by tackling the most common writing fears before they arise.

12 Ways to Overcome Fear Before It Grips You

Be as kind to yourself as you are to others.

Sometimes we can be our own worst critics. We hold ourselves to a higher, probably unattainable standard. And when we fall short, we treat ourselves like garbage.

Why?

Because there’s no one there to stop us.

Take time to build a small group where you can be honest and hold yourself accountable. The truth is you could do better, but you could do a lot worse, too. A faithful group that lifts each other with facts instead of opinions is an asset worth more than gold.

Understand your writing isn’t for everyone.

Stephen King, James Patterson, and J.K. Rowling have sold millions of books.

And millions of people still haven’t read them.

If these authors haven’t sold everyone, you won’t either.

Focus on the people your writing serves best. Put your all into it. Then you’ll do your best work and your readers will rave about it.

Proofread effectively.

I’m a perfectionist.

Chances are good you are, too.

We love to write our hearts out. But when it comes to editing, you feel like you’re learning math in an English class. You know you have to do it. You want your work to shine. But busting your knuckles against your words wears you out.

If you’ve poured over your words for hours, you won’t see straight enough to edit them. So take a break. Walk away. Go outside. Drink coffee. Take a nap. Talk to a friend.

When your brain is fresh, come back.

The best way to proofread is to read your work aloud. Better, have your smartphone read it to you. Siri can do it on the iPhone. If you want an app with a voice, tube used Voice Dream and Capti. The voices are eerily human, and they won’t fill in missing words like your brain will.

Once you’re happy with how your words sound, share them.

Compete with yourself.

The best person to beat is who you were yesterday.

Learn from others. Make their strategies your own if you can. But at the end of the day, you’re still you. So be the best you can today. Write what you care about. Dig deep and share your best insights.

The people who care will share.

Collect ideas before you run dry.

You don’t wait until Christmas Day to start shopping.

You don’t let the train run over you before you move out of the way.

So why expect your short list of ideas to last forever?

It won’t.

Squirrels gather more nuts than they can eat when it’s warm. They do it because they know winter’s coming and they’ll starve if they don’t gather food while it’s available.

Keep a notebook with you. Write down every idea on your smartphone. Don’t worry about quality. You can sift later. For now, just hunt and gather.

You can’t sift through nothing.

Protect your writing time with your life.

How much you write will depend on how strong your habit is.

Find your best, most productive time and space. When can you work uninterrupted? When do you feel most creative? What does it take to light the spark?

Figure that out.

Put that time on your calendar.

And don’t miss it unless you’re dead.

One more thing… don’t schedule writing at the expense of your family and friends. Success is more fun when you have others to enjoy it with.

Always be learning.

If you have a degree, that’s great.

If you don’t, you have experience to draw from. You have imagination. And you can always learn more.

Read books and go to seminars.

Join communities of people reaching higher.

Explore what’s possible by stretching yourself.

Knowledge is powerful when it’s used, regardless of how it’s obtained.

Embrace the challenge of getting published and read.

It’s not easy to sell your writing.

Traditional publishers are pummeled with countless requests to publish manuscripts.

Anyone can self-publish, but only a few stand out.

You can win at this game if you want to.

Find your unfair competitive advantage. What is it that you do so well it’s hard to copy you? There’s gold to be mined in that talent.

Dig deep. Dig often. Move the dirt away and you’ll shine like the sun.

Count rejections as steps to yes.

It hurts to think your writing doesn’t fit everywhere.

You’ll have to take some stabs in the dark to find the light. You’ll fall and scrape yourself when you’re learning to ride your bike. The person you want to dance with won’t want to dance with you.

It’s okay.

Finding where you fit takes work. And like a pair of shoes, you may not fit into the same groove forever. Keep shoes on hand so your feet don’t get cold.

Break a big project into finishable tasks.

You can’t eat an elephant in one bite or even one meal.

We’re celebrating the Christmas holidays as I write this. You’re tempted to eat too much, spend money you don’t have, and watch way too much TV.

We built our home two years ago. It took over a year to complete. The construction consisted of a series of projects: framing, wiring, plumbing, flooring, insulation, sheet rocking, roofing, and a half million other tasks.

We finished it all by focusing on one task at a time.

We also knew why we had to do it all.

Break your book down into daily tasks. Check them off. Set up some milestones to celebrate along the way. It’s a marathon, and the rewards can be huge.

Schedule time to write.

Life is demanding.

You make time for what’s important no matter how stressed you are.

If you care about writing as much as you do eating or breathing, put it on your calendar.

Do it regularly and you’ll find you can’t live without it.

Plan to make money before you spend it.

If you have seed money to start your business, great.

If you don’t, you’ll have to call on your creativity.

Find some influential people and do something for them. Don’t expect anything in return. If you impress them, some of them will surprise you.

No business can last without cash flow. Let the right people know what you offer. Do it consistently.

Soon you’ll be the one that feeds their hunger.

Now go kick fear’s butt.

Fear will always be there.

The best way to deal with fear is to head it off before it shuts you down. You’ve got 12 fighting techniques now, and a better than average chance of winning.

Now go claim your rightful place in people’s hearts.

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