Jealousy. It’s in you. We all have a dark side. The dark side of the writer is powerful. You must learn to use it for the good of your writing.
The dark side of the writer is powerful.
There are people who write trash-riddled-with-grammar-mistakes filled blog posts and yet their work goes instantly viral every time they click publish, even to the point mainstream news channels comment on them.
There are writers who have never published anything before and somehow seem to instantly find the perfect agent and the next thing you know they’re signing a 6 figure contract.
There are people who attract readers by the thousands, tens of thousands, but don’t seem to be doing anything more than you’ve been doing and most certainly not better.
You’re a better writer. You’re way more talented. And hell, you’re smarter and better looking. And you know what? You know it.
But you’re not the star. They are.
Why? You don’t know.
But what you do know is that it burns and you want to scream at them for being so lucky. You want to light up your saber and run it through their ugly wannabe scribbler’s heart.
You know it’s true.
But it’s BS. Because…
The force is strong in you
You can feel it.
But you don’t trust it. You never have, if you’re being honest about it.
It’s this lack of trust that causes you so much misery and holds you back from your destiny as a star writer.
I know this is true because the darkness of jealousy is within me too.
I wanted to be a top blogger and I hated seeing people rise to the top so effortlessly when I worked so damned hard just to reach a few people. And then I joined them and became one of them, a top blogger in my niche, creating one of the most popular writing blogs on the planet.
Then I wanted to reach bestseller status, just like those who did it seemingly so easily before me. And, I did that too.
But the darkness of jealousy still pulled me, causing me to be angry and bitter. Finally, I realize the truth of it. There’s always something to be jealous of. There’s always something more to want, something we don’t yet have but feel we must have and we’re jealous of those who have it.
We need our dark side.
If we were never jealous we might not dig deep enough within ourselves and strive to become the writers we were born to be.
We don’t need to join the dark side, but we should realize that there must be balance in the force and jealousy is a part of that balance that cannot and will not be ignored.
It’s okay to be angry. Feel it. Acknowledge it.
It’s okay to feel hate. Acknowledge it.
It’s okay to want to scream. Do it.
It’s okay to want to give up. Go ahead, give up.
It’s okay to feel what you feel and think what you think.
Jealousy demands to be acknowledged!
Do otherwise at your own peril. All this stuff about pretending you’re not affected only serves to hurt you in the long run, by holding in feelings that will fester and build deeper resentment within you.
And trust me, such resentment will only serve to hurt you. Your creativity and your writing will lose its audacity. Your drive to do work that matters will lose steam. Eventually, you will lose the desire that got you started in the first place.
Resentment is horrendous. Jealousy has nothing on it.
When you acknowledge the very real jealousy that you’re experiencing you start to take away its power over you. The dark side always prefers to remain in the shadows, lurking, hiding, and preying on your inspiration until the light that once powered your enthusiasm is gone.
You can rebel against the writer’s dark side.
You must rebel against it. You do this by using it.
- First, Acknowledge that what you’re feeling is jealousy. It’s okay to feel it. You’re human. So, you know, be human.
- Realize that jealousy affects you negatively if you allow it to fester.
- Do all the things I listed above, such as be angry, feel the hate, scream like crazy and give up if you want to, at least for a while.
- Trust your feelings. They will guide you to the light side of the force.
- Once you’ve done all those things ask yourself why you’re jealous and answer honestly, using your self-trust. No one else need know the answer.
- Once you fully understand WHY you’re jealous you’ll know exactly what you need to work on and this is how you will turn it around and thrive.
Sometimes we’re jealous because someone’s extremely lucky and things just seem to fall in place for them. Well, guess what? People like that are real. Stuff like that does happen.
There is such a thing as lucky breaks. There is such a thing as unpredictable timing that benefits certain people.
Although these things can seem totally unfair, it’s the law of nature and you can’t change it. And you shouldn’t want to because the same things could happen for you.
Use other people’s successes, as lucky as they might be, as a sign that good things happen and that, hell yes, anyone can become a writer, publish a book and end up on live TV talking about how lucky they are to have signed a 6 figure contract.
Yes, you can!
Don’t lose friendships over it.
Those lucky people have as much control over their luck as you have control over yours, it just seems like they’re luckier. You have no idea what they could be suffering through, so don’t think about trading places with them! Not ever.
Sometimes, though, people just work really, really hard at their craft and what seems like overnight success to you may seem long overdue to them.
So, here’s the deal, what you can do is get back at it. Get back to work. Play your own game by your own rules and strive to win it, and you will. The lucky breaks come to those who are in the process of doing and not sulking in resentment in a bar somewhere.
I know, it’s tough love, but when it comes to jealousy nothing works better than a good swift kick in the butt.
Stay committed, keep working your butt off, keep creating your best work and keep sending it out. Eventually, your time will come and when it does, other people will be jealous of your luck. Trust me.
Now go, get to work and….
May the force be with you