Over the past few years, it’s been very difficult for me to concentrate on writing. I thought it was merely because I was getting older and perhaps a bit burned out and maybe a little disinterested, but I was wrong. Very wrong.

And you know what? You might be in the same boat I was in and not even realize it.

Whatever life situation you’re in right now, if you have moments when you feel underwhelmed, unenthusiastic, and way beyond just tired, unable, and seemingly incapable of creating your best work – for that matter, or to even try your best, and you’re more likely to give up, hit the sofa to eat and watch a movie instead of writing, you are not alone!

5 years ago I quit smoking, finally. Halleluiah! It was the best decision of my life.

But then something happened, I started to eat. When I say eat, Lord, you don’t know, I started to eat E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. I couldn’t pass a fast food joint without getting a burger (maybe 3 or 4) and fries, I couldn’t pass an ice cream stand without at least getting a multi-scooper on a sugar cone!

It was a disaster.

Within just a few months of quitting smoking I put on 10 pounds, then 20, and then 30. And you know what, I gave into it. But after a while I noticed it wasn’t just that I was gaining weight, I was getting tired faster, wanted to sleep longer, and I just didn’t have the desire to write all that much anymore.

Have you ever gotten instantly depressed merely from looking in the mirror?

I did. And it didn’t simply go away when I stopped looking. It lasted, and crazy enough, it made me eat more.

People kept saying the weight you put on after quitting smoking eventually goes away, like magic. Let me tell you two things, it doesn’t just go away and there is no eFF’ing magic to it! Zero.

I haven’t written all that much over the past three years. It’s been a struggle to sit down, face the keys and type anything, much less words that matter. I got fat and with each pound, I lost more and more of my drive.

New Flash: According to the Harvard School of Public Health, weight gain impairs physical functioning, reduces quality of life, and is associated with poor mental health. And now, friends and neighbors, I can personally confirm this! Or, better said, no shit!

Most of my life I’ve been a rather small guy, slim, 130 pounds soaking wet, with a size 29 waist. When I went into surgery for my hernia a while back, I weighed in at 200lbs! I’m not a tall guy, so 200 pounds is a big deal for me. It was a shock.

About 4 months ago I went to the doctor because I felt pulling in my chest after I ran upstairs. It freaked me out. The doc did an EKG and it didn’t come back all that great.

Let me tell you when you get EKG results that aren’t “good,” everything changes.

I could tell something was wrong when the nurse was finished and she hurried out with the results with a very concerned look on her face and then the doc came back in a minute later seriously looking over the results. I started getting scared.

Apparently, there was an anomaly in my results, I won’t go into the diagnosis in this post, but I will tell you this, from that day forward I changed my eating habits overnight. For 3 years I had wanted to change my diet, but it had been damn near impossible. However, with this new motivation, I changed my choices of food without a second thought.

Isn’t it strange how something can suddenly be so life changing? We can struggle for years and then something snaps and the change becomes instant. I wish we could do this without extreme crises.

This isn’t the first time medical results caused me to change instantly. In fact, my doctor’s warning about emphysema caused me to quit smoking from one minute to the next. I had tried to quit for years and his lab results caused me to quit instantly. It’s sad that it takes such dramatic life and death warnings to get me to choose to stop killing myself.

I’m sure I am not alone, so take it from me, don’t wait if you find yourself in unhealthy lifestyle situations. But that’s the thing, isn’t it? Waiting isn’t the problem. It’s the sudden clicks in our heads that get us to take action, but until the buttons are pushed, change seems impossible.

I used to think people overweight simply didn’t want to lose weight. I thought it was a choice. Same with smoking, but how did that work out for me after so many years doing it? Not great! Teeth problems, breathing problems, and so many underlying issues―many that I might not even know about yet. God willing, my body will heal itself.

Weight is even worse because it’s not like you can only stop eating―you have to change nearly everything you do eat (or, at least I had to).

And let me tell you, no matter how much smoke shaming, fat shaming, whatever-you-struggle-with shaming, and yes, even worse, self-shaming we have to contend with, none of it compels us to positively change. All the shaming just makes it worse. I wish it would stop.

Non-smokers, slim people, and anyone who thinks they know better and have to be an ass about it, stop it. One day, there will be something someone’s going to shame you about (if it’s not happening already).

Instead, consider helping, supporting, loving, and just plain caring. Or get out of the way and leave well enough alone.

Without the need to shame anyone, please know that change is possible. I did quit smoking. I did lose weight―40 pounds!―(finally), and I am making better lifestyle choices. You might not be a smoker and you might not be overweight, but there might be something causing you distress and self-harm. Know this: Positive change is possible.

Major Changes

These are the major changes I made:

1) Stopped eating junk food and limited sugar intake!

The first thing I did after I got the results of my EKG is I committed in my mind that I was not going to eat junk food anymore. I also stopped eating “added sugar,” in other words if it’s not a natural sugar, I don’t eat it.

This may sound like a small undertaking, but truth be told, I ate fast food and drank soda daily! I’m an on the go person and fast food fit my lifestyle. This was one of the biggest changes I’ve ever made.

2) Stopped eating white bread, rice, and pasta.

Actually, I have practically stopped eating bread altogether. I do eat one slice of gluten-free sunflower seed bread in the morning with a slice of cheese. I love rice and would eat it by the bowl, especially when I would get Chinese food to go. Spaghetti was another quick meal I would frequently make.

This might surprise you, but a study in 2015 published in the British Journal of Nutrition studied people who were split into two groups. One group lowered their whole grain bread consumption and the other group lowered their white bread consumption. The group that ate less white bread in their diet lost weight, in particular, belly fat. To add to this, I’ve lost 70% of my belly fat in the last 4 months!

3) Started eating salads for lunch and stopped eating large meals at night.

In the past, I would have a complete junk food lunch, and later, at home, I’d eat another full meal. The sad thing is, most of the time I wasn’t even that hungry in the evening, but I grew up with dinner at 5 and I’ve kept to that regardless of how much I had already eaten for lunch. Now I usually have a light bowl of soup in the evening.

4) Stopped trash snacking.

When I would sit in front of the TV or when I was working on a writing project I would frequently eat cookies or chips (or another trash snack), and often I’d have a little dip to go along with the chips. No more!

5) Replaced trash snacking with plain or lightly salted popcorn.

Popcorn is actually a low-calorie healthy snack, when, and only when, we pass on all the other toppings. Lightly salted (if you’re not prohibited from salt) and perhaps a little parmesan cheese, but all that other stuff, like butter, is a no-go. The great thing about popcorn is that it fills me up crushing the munchies that used to do me in.

If you like popcorn, the best option is to air pop it yourself. It’s very easy, simply put the popcorn kernels in a brown lunch paper bag and fold the top over twice to ensure it’s closed. Microwave on high until the popping has about a two-second gap in it, 1.5-2.5 minutes depending on your microwave. Dump the popped popcorn into a large bowl, salt as you want it, and enjoy! It’s cheaper and a lot healthier than pre-bagged microwave popcorn.

Other snacking I enjoy are grapes, nectarines, apples, and other fruits.

Here’s a quote I love from Jim Rohn:

We’ve all heard the expression, ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away.’ Well, I’ve got a question for you: What if it’s true? Wouldn’t that be easy to do-to eat an apple a day? Here’s the problem: It’s also easy not to do. – Or, the guy messed up the saying, the guy says a Hershey bar a day… No! It’s not a Hershey bar, you’ve got to be smarter than that.

 6) Started exercising.

I started with some light aerobics to music in the mornings. I made it fun by treating it like a dance and not going too serious right away. At first, I only did aerobics for about 15 minutes, but now I do it from 30 to 45 minutes to 1 hour, depending on how much time I have available. I’ve also learned that in order for exercise to be effective, 5 hours a week is the optimal amount of time that should be spent doing it. I make sure I get my 5 hours every week!

I thought I would hate exercising, but after doing it for several months, I don’t know how I ever lived without doing it. It makes the entire day so much better.

Feel Profoundly Better

The above list might seem easy to some, but let me tell you, these are major, even dramatic changes I had to make. The improvement in how I feel, how I can focus and concentrate are nothing short of profound. I find myself writing again, heck, later this year I will publish a new book! Getting your blood flowing and having nutritious food in your system increases motivation and decreases procrastination. And, let me tell you, I was a world champion procrastinator!

I hope the changes save my life. I want to live to be 100! We live in a fast food world and we are in a century of ever-increasing productivity and go-go-go. The problem is the human body wasn’t made to be under so much constant demand and live off of processed food which provides practically no nourishment.

Whole foods rich in natural nutrients have changed my life.

I do my best to stay away from processed foods. I strive to eat what my body can actually use. For example, my body can get the most out of fruits, which do contain sugar, but that’s no excuse to eat a candy bar―which also contains sugar. The difference is my body can use the vast nutrients found in grapes and other fruits, but candy bars are useless with the exception of adding to body fat and adding other dangerous ingredients to my body.

Of course, you can overdo your sugar intake by going overboard on grapes, but under all circumstances, I still prefer them over cookies, chips, and candy bars.

I learned the hard way if you want to feel right – you’ve got to eat right!

I love writing. I love creating. I love living. I’m going to eat and drink accordingly going forward. I prefer to eat healthier and exercise rather than feel like crud every day and not write the way I want to write and be the person I want to be, healthy and energized.

Every writer, artist, and creative, should consider eating healthy and exercising. You won’t just get back to creating your best work, you’ll feel much better too!  I promise.

People have noticed my weight loss and have especially noticed I’m more upbeat and animated and that’s so rewarding to me for others to acknowledge my efforts to overcome my personal struggles. Several have asked me sincerely how they too can lose weight and/or deal with their various struggles, and at first, I wasn’t sure how to answer, but after thinking about it, allow me to offer these steps as suggestions:

1) Make a conscious decision.

Before I quit smoking and before I started to eat better I had already determined that I wanted to do those things. Although both changes I made in an instant manner due to the doctor scaring the shit out of me, the fact that I wanted to do these things was something I had already decided, so the actions were in line with my will.

Now here’s the thing, I wanted to eat and live healthier not just so that I would feel better or that I would lose weight, I ultimately wanted to live healthier because my heart needs me to and I want to live longer.  Feeling so much better and losing weight are two major side effects of this new lifestyle.

I didn’t say to myself, I’m going to start losing weight tomorrow. What I said to myself was, I’m going to consciously choose better foods and stop eating junk food! Period. And, thankfully, I did that.

The conscious decision was key. If you’re not sure or half-ass about whatever you want, change will not happen. I know, because all of my previous efforts failed due to indecision.

2) Make way-of-life changes.

Fad diets, crash diets, 6 week or 6-month diets, are, for the most part, bullshit! Seriously, why go through so much effort simply to go back to the way things were when you were not as happy, when you didn’t feel like you wanted to feel, when you didn’t look like you wanted to look, and when you weren’t being the person you wanted to be? Think about it.

Diets are temporary, that’s why we so often say they fail because we expect the results to last after we stop them. However, the good news is that when you make a lifestyle change, meaning you change the way you live your life, such as your eating habits or any other habit, you make a commitment to yourself forever. Lifelong commitments last. Temporary changes, don’t. You would think this would be a no-brainer, but most all of us fall for the idea of diets.

What I discovered is that when I changed my eating habits at first the food was different and it didn’t necessarily taste as good, but now, months later, I love what I am eating and it tastes far more delicious and nutritious than all the junk I had been eating. Processed foods have so many additives and crap in it that we don’t even know what it’s like to not eat them.

Once you get used to natural whole foods, you discover what you’ve been missing. Commit to lifelong change, my friend.

3) Get out of your own way.

What I mean by that is we are a results-driven society, but this drive hurts us when we are trying to hurry the human process along. Once you start to improve, let’s say you start to lose weight as I did, you might get excited and overeager for the process to hurry up and you begin to check your weight every morning. I personally think this is a fallacy and is more likely to lead to failure.

The human clock works on its own time, there’s only so much you can do to hurry it along. Waking up in the morning expecting to have lost 5lbs because you starved yourself the day before is not just impossible, it’s dangerous.

If you’re doing the right things, such as exercising and eating the right food for you, the results will eventually be obvious, but you shouldn’t get so impatient that you try to hurry them even more. Trust that you are already doing what you need to do and forget about your weight for a while, just let it happen. It will.

I don’t know how many people ask me about my weight daily. What’s the number today? They look at me strangely when I say I don’t know. I check at the end of each month, but not day to day.

4) Do what’s right for you.

This is so important. What I eat and do, might not be right for you. I enjoy aerobics in the morning. It reminds me of doing martial arts in my childhood, so now that I’m into it, I am even getting a little back into martial arts. I discovered the other day I can kick again!

What’s your thing? What would you like to be able to do again?

We are also lucky that today, even better than just 10 years ago, there are more healthy choices, premade salads, fruit bowls, and other ways of eating healthier. It’s not as challenging. Take advantage of it! If that’s your thing.

Ask yourself these questions to help motivate yourself to get started:

• What do I want?
• What would I enjoy most if I were healthier, more energetic, smarter, not procrastinating, smoke-free, you pick.
• How can I do it?
• Who can I ask for help or advice?

Last Word: CHANGE Is HARD – But Can Happen In An Instant!

Everyone makes the mental changes they need to in order to change in an instant. However, until that instant comes, whatever may cause it―be it a decision, a diagnosis or just the fact that you’ve had enough of whatever it is already― real change can’t and won’t happen.

We can want and even try for years to do something, to change something, but it’s not the years that make the difference, it’s the instant the mental change is made within you! I can’t make it for you, nobody, no matter how hard they try, or how much they preach, can make this change happen for you. Only you can.

After the EKG I could have continued my unhealthy lifestyle and I would have paid a high price, but in an instant, I made a mental change that may have saved my life! Yes, it was the results of the EKG that motivated me to change, but why? Because it was a trigger.

What I have learned about making real changes is that we have to find out what our triggers are first. For example, when you become attracted to another person you go out of our way to discover what they like and don’t like so that you can best appeal to them via their triggers. This is basic human nature, and therein is the answer.

Instead of discovering what the triggers are for other people, find out what your own are and use them to create change in your life. What is powerful enough to motivate you to change in an instant? You know what it is. Trust me. My health was most important to me when it came to smoking and weight. What’s most important to you?

Any questions? Feel free to ask in the comments.

Creating content that puts smiles on the readers’ faces can be very challenging. Not only is humor very subjective but you also need to know how to use just the right dose. This doesn’t mean that you are facing an impossible task. It means that you’ll need to add a bit of strategy to your creativity.

Depending on the type of content you want to produce, there are different ways of incorporating humor. For some inspiration and motivation, the following five ways of incorporating humor in your writing will give you some helpful ideas.

Note: This is a guest post by Adriana Veasey, she is a writer and editor at Studicus.com. Writing is more than just her job, it is her passion in which she invests all her time and creative energy.

How to do it without overdoing it?

What you need to understand about humor is that not everyone finds the same jokes funny. That is actually not your problem, but what can be your problem is if you cross the line and offend your readers.

So, how to avoid such an inconvenience?

Here are some don’ts that you should keep in mind before you risk getting chased with pitchforks and torches:

• Racism
• Sexism
• Putdowns
• Dark humor
• Corny, used-up jokes
• Bashing your competition

Now that we know what type of humor should be avoided, let’s get to the useful tricks.

1. The joke is on you

Show your readers that you are not a sensitive little flower and that you can handle a good joke. According to a study (HSQ; Martin, Puhlik-Doris, Larsen, Gray, & Weir, 2003), people who make themselves the butt of their own jokes actually demonstrate greater levels of happiness and self-assurance.

Self-deprecation is a safe choice, meaning that you won’t risk offending anyone and you’ll portray yourself as a confident individual.

Who knows you better than yourself? Take all those funny and cringy stories, stereotypes, and flaws and use them in your writing.

There is more to it than just making people laugh by joking about yourself. Readers will be able to relate and create a connection with you if you open up. It shows that you are honest and willing to accept your flaws.

Of course, if you don’t feel comfortable with this type of humor don’t force it. It is important that you truly feel good about yourself and are ready to share with the world some of your embarrassing stories and insecurities.

2. Are you ready to compare?

Those of you who have read Robert Schimmel’s book Cancer on $5 a Day (Chemo Not Included) might have noticed the following part:

This stupid hospital gown is riding up my ass. I try to pull it down and it snaps right back up like a window shade. I cross my legs and suddenly I’m Sharon Stone.

When using comparison it is crucial that you use situations that are generally known or popular. Like Robert did with Sharon’s famous scene in Basic Instinct.

Writers are used to using comparisons and metaphors in various styles so this shouldn’t be a difficult challenge.

Just think through what depicts the situation that you want to describe. Is it painful, sexual, embarrassing? Then brainstorm and wait until something valuable comes to your mind. It should just come instinctively.

3. Get playful with words

Jazz up your writing with simple word twisting or word tweaks. Whether you want to use the already existing ones or make something up, it is up to you. The choices are endless.

For example, what do you find to be funnier skedaddle or hurry? A promiscuous man or a mimbo?

Using simple but funny words will give a humorous tone to seemingly ordinary sentences.

You can even make some of your own word combinations. Go wild and come up with new words that can add that something extra to your writing. Who knows, maybe it will even end up in a dictionary one day. Dare to dream!

4. Go big or go home

A little exaggeration can’t hurt anyone, can it? This has always been a popular technique among comics and humor writers and for a good reason.

There are writers who base their work on exaggeration. Just look at the work of Dave Barry, a Pulitzer Prize winner for humor writing. He is the master of exaggeration, but don’t take my word for it. Let his work speak for himself:

• Eugene is located in western Oregon, approximately 278 billion miles from anything.
• I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War.
• If you were to open up a baby’s head – and I am not for a moment suggesting that you should – you would find nothing but an enormous drool gland.
• It is a well-documented fact that guys will not ask for directions. This is a biological thing. This is why it takes several million sperm cells … to locate a female egg, despite the fact that the egg is, relative to them, the size of Wisconsin.

Is this enough to convince you?

5. Get down to details

Besides helping the readers to really picture what you are describing, including all the small details can sprinkle some humor on any situation.

Think about these two examples:

• She was holding an old, rag doll.
• She was holding what seemed to be an old, rag doll. However, it was more like a yellow ball of fabric with two black-ish patches for the eyes and a crooked smile (maybe it had a stroke, who am I to judge).

The more details you give, the scene will look more absurd and comical. Really picture all the little things that make that specific thing what it is.

I’m not saying that generalization can’t be funny, but when you really get down to specifics that is when things get spicy.

Joke ahead!

Hopefully, the above-mentioned tips have given you some inspiration and ideas on how to add that humorous effect to your writing.

It is up to you in which direction you will go, but as long as you don’t hold back, I’m sure that you will manage to create something great and worthy of every laugh.

What’s the funniest piece you ever wrote? Is it published on a website or on your blog? If so, link to it and share it with us in the comments below!

Discouraging, isn’t it?

You write a few blog posts and friends sing your praises. You dream, Maybe I’ve got what it takes to score a publishing deal.

But then you run your idea and your samples past an agent, an editor, or a published author, and the music screeches to a halt. You interpret their “meh” as a scathing critique and you’re rudely awakened from your dream.

Special Note: This is a guest post by New York Times Bestselling author, Jerry B. Jenkins. Jerry’s one of the most successful authors of our time with over 70 million copies of his books sold. Visit: jerryjenkins.com

Unfortunately, I’ve seen it over and over.

Writers ask me for feedback. I believe they want real input, but when they see my suggested edits, their faces fall.

I know they were dreaming I would say, “Where have you been? How has a major publishing house not found you yet?”

They weren’t really looking for input—they were looking to be discovered.

You might have a boatload of talent—enough to tell compelling stories in fresh ways. But if you can’t accept criticism from those in the business, you’re not going to succeed.

I’ve written and published 195 books, including 21 New York Times bestsellers, yet I still need fresh eyes on my work. And I’ve had to become a ferocious self-editor.

Writing is a craft.

That means you must build your writing muscles and learn the skills.

Regardless how talented you think you are, writing takes work. Many talented athletes never become pros because they believed raw talent alone would carry them.

That doesn’t have to be you, as long as you cultivate your skills.

3 Ways to Hone Your Talent

1. Read, Read, Read

Writers are readers. Good writers are good readers. Great writers are great readers.

Writing in your favorite genre? You should have read at least 200 titles in it. Learn the conventions. Know the rules you plan to break.

You’ll become aware of what works and what doesn’t. And you’ll likely see a vast difference in your writing.

2. Write, Write, Write

Dreamers talk about writing. Writers write.

Don’t expect to grow unless you’re in the chair doing it. 

Write short stuff first. Articles, blogs. Learn to work with an editor. Learn the business. Get a quarter million cliches out of your system.

3. Welcome Brutally Honest Feedback

The fastest way to shave years off your learning curve is to seek real input from someone who knows.

But be prepared. Your ego may take a bruising.

Yes—the red ink hurts. During my early years in the newspaper and magazine business, editors tore my work apart.

But it made me the writer I am today. Without that scrutiny I don’t know where I’d be, but it wouldn’t be on any bestseller lists.

Expect to be heavily edited and learn to aggressively self-edit.

Take advantage of every opportunity to grow. Assume there is always room for improvement.

I am still learning and trying to sharpen my skills, after over 50 years in this game.

One of the most challenging parts of being a writer is keeping things fresh. You always need new ideas and new things to write about.

Staying inspired can be tough.

Thankfully, you have access to unlimited writing inspiration when you look to your own life. Your life is full of inspiration, you just have to know how to uncover it.

Note: This is a guest post by Brian Berni. Brian is a former Vatican employee and a bestselling author under multiple pen-names. He blogs for writers and self-publishers at AuthorsTech and is the co-founder of BookAds, an agency that helps authors advertise their books through Amazon and BookBub Ads.

Before you read the rest of this post, I highly recommend you grab a notebook and a pen. You’re going to start digging right now.

Ready?

Here are 5 ways to mine your life for writing inspiration:

1) Write A Sentence A Day

You’ve heard of keeping a scrapbook or photo book of memories, right? Well this is a similar thing, only you write the memory down.

Grab a notebook or journal and put it by your bed. Then right before you go to sleep every night, write one to two sentences about your day. Be sure to add the date for reference purposes.

This is an opportunity for you to reflect on your day and keep track of key moments in your life.

Here are some ideas for what to write down:

• The best thing that happened to you that day
• The worst thing that happened
• What you learned
• Your favorite moment of the day
• A memory from that day you want to remember
• What you did that was fun
• Something that inspired you

Do this consistently for several months and when you look back you’ll have a collection of memories you can expand on for your writing.

2) Keep Track of Your “Most” Moments

You know your “most” moments? Everyone has them.

The most inspiring thing that’s ever happened to you. The most fun you’ve ever had. The most afraid you’ve ever been. The most happy. The most loved you’ve ever felt.

I can keep going, but I think you get my point. We all have “most” moments in our lives and these moments are ripe for writing inspiration.

Grab your notebook and write “My Most Moments” at the top of the page. Then make a list of all the “most” moments you can think of from your life.

Add to the list when another “most” moment happens or when something bumps another “most” moment from its spot on the list.

Refer back to this list anytime you need writing inspiration.

3) Recall the Transformations You’ve Made

If you’re alive, you’ve grown at some point in your life. Growth is the basis of making a transformation.

And transformations are perfect inspiration for your writing.

When you make a transformation, there’s always something you learned or got out of it, and that’s what makes good writing. There’s also a potential “how to” in there.

Get your notebook out, open to a new page and then divide the page into three columns, vertically.

At the top of the left column write, “Transformations I’ve made.” At the top of the middle  column, write, “How I did it.” At the top of the right column, write, “What I learned.”

For example, did you lose 100 pounds? What specific steps did you take to do that? What did you learn from making that transformation? Write that all down in the designated columns.

Readers want to be inspired, entertained, educated or all three. Writing about a transformation you’ve made, how you did it and what you learned is a great way to deliver all three of those things.

4) List Out the Lessons You’ve Learned

Piggybacking off the transformations you’ve made, I’m sure there are all kinds of lessons you’ve learned over the course of your life from what you’ve experienced and been through. Well, that’s all writing inspiration too.

Grab your notebook again. Open to a new page and then draw a line down the center of the page, vertically.

At the top of the left column, write “Lessons I’ve Learned.” At the top of the right column, write “How I Learned This Lesson.”

Take some time to brainstorm the lessons you’ve learned, along with how you learned them.

For example, did you learn that “you have to stand up for yourself” after being in a relationship where you never stood up for yourself? Write that lesson in the left column and the specifics about “how you learned it” in the right column. Now you have a lesson along with a story you can write to inspire your reader.

I recommend spending some serious time on this one. We often forget how much we’ve learned in our lives and how we learned it. This is a simple way to keep track of that stuff and have a well of inspiration for your writing.

5) Think Back On Experiences You’ve Had

The final way to mine your life for writing inspiration is to think back on the things you’ve experienced. You’ve done things, been places and met people who are worth writing about.

Grab your notebook one more time. At the top of the page, write: “Experiences I’ve Had.” Then make a list of all the experiences you’ve had that stand out to you.

For example, maybe you met the love of your life while standing in line for coffee. Write that down. Maybe you traveled the world for a month and experienced a wide array of places and cultures. Write that down.

We often discount our experiences and consider them “normal” or “average” because we’re the ones experiencing them. Yet so many people have never done what you have, which means your experiences are worth writing about and sharing with others.

Whether you’re writing a blog post, a memoir, a personal essay or even fiction, mining your life for inspiration is the perfect way to always have something to write about.

Now that you have a few ideas on how to mine your life for writing inspiration, well, then, let’s get to it! 

My first published novel was, well, not my first published novel. I’ve been working as a ghostwriter behind the scenes for a decade, and have plenty of experience in a range of genres. Romances set in high schools, Regency-era tropes, supernatural tales of communities with superpowers – you name it. But when I wanted to publish something under my own name, I went with true crime. That’s when I really started to learn a lot about myself, thanks to writing…

Note: This is a guest post by: Rhiannon D’Averc, she is a crime writer based in the UK. You can follow her on Twitter and see the latest news and updates on her website. She is also the Chief Editor of London Runway, an indie fashion publication in the UK’s capital.

The result was Boy Under Water – Dennis Nilsen: The True Story of a Serial Killer. It’s based on a real series of murders, as the name suggests. While I might have had plenty of experience in other genres, true crime taught me some home truths that I might not otherwise have learned. Here’s what I picked up.

1. Why I write true crime

It might seem silly, but do we ever really question why we write?

Most of us just like telling stories (or harbor dreams of being the next multi-millionaire breakout author). But why do we tell the particular stories that we do?

If you explain to someone that you’re writing a romance novel, their questions will usually center around why you’ve chosen to write at all. But when I told people about the true crime novel that was burning a hole on my hard drive, they usually wanted to know why I would choose such a gruesome topic.

That led to some soul-searching.

When I peeled it all back, I realized that my lifelong fascination with true crime probably had a lot to do with the reason why I watch horror movies. I watch them, even though I often hate them, because I want to know. How do you get rid of ghosts that want to do you harm? How do you stop a cursed video from killing you? What kind of red flags should you avoid if you don’t want to get dismembered by hillbillies in a remote wooded area? (You need to know this!)

Knowing is magic. Knowing keeps you safe. If I ever did, say, end up in a situation where a ghost from inside a haunted videotape was trying to track me down, I now know just to show the video to someone else. That’s all it takes to stay safe.

Knowing about serial killers, murderers, and conmen is a similar concept. The more I learn and write about them, the less likely it is that I’ll end up a victim of one. Even though I have potentially raised the risk by becoming a true crime writer, if cinema has taught me anything!

2. What I might be capable of

Most of us consider ourselves to be normal, upstanding citizens. Maybe we break a parking law now and then or take the free samples out of our hotel rooms – they pretty much expect us to do that, right? But we’re not bad people. Not the kind of bad that might result in us murdering another human being… and then going on to do it again, and again, and again.

But then I started trying to get into the mind of a serial killer in order to write about him. I wanted the book to be as authentic as possible, so I dedicated a lot of time and effort to this realism. I devoured everything Nilsen had said or written in the public view. I got to know him, and his circumstances. I read views from people who knew him. I even exchanged a letter with the man himself, a short while before he died in prison.

What I discovered along this exploration was that there was no real particular trigger or abuse that turned Nilsen into a serial killer. I don’t think he was born evil. I don’t believe there’s a gene or a specific single incident which forced him to kill people.

What I found in my research was a lonely, sad, isolated man. He thought he was cleverer than he was, but also perhaps suspected somewhere in a dark corner of his mind that he wasn’t all that. He felt rejected, thrown away by the countless lovers who came and went in the space of a night. This built upon the rejection of a childhood spent in a poor Scottish family, and then the army, where a young, gay, slightly odd man was not cherished. It grew in the form of a fantasy that was deeply connected to the death of his grandfather and, left unchecked, evolved into something far more dangerous.

These are all human feelings. We might not call them ‘normal’, but we really mean not ‘healthy’ or ‘fitting society’. Actually, it’s very normal to feel different to others around us. It’s normal to have fantasies which grow and evolve as our sexuality develops – particularly if we aren’t able to engage in relationships with others, which might replace those fantasies.

The more I researched, the more I felt like any one of us could be subject to just the right (or wrong) kind of mix of experiences and feelings to become a killer. Maybe if Nilsen had been less lonely, or found a partner who wanted to stay with him, or not been frustrated with both his career and his personal life, the crimes would not have happened.

I don’t mean to absolve his blame – he still took action, decisively and on his own. He has rightly been condemned for those actions. But it did make me think that perhaps, there but for the grace of God go we.

3. What I was aiming for

If you had asked me before I published the book what I wanted to come of it, I probably wouldn’t have been able to give a clear answer. There were wild dreams, of course – like being the next multi-millionaire author. But I didn’t really know how I would feel about any kind of result that happened.

Actually, I found that I was pretty satisfied with the modest sales that I got. I’m not a bestselling author just yet, and definitely not a millionaire. But I do feel happy with the response. Having friends, distant family members, and people I hadn’t spoken to in years tell me they’d read and enjoyed the book was pure reward.

More than anything, this experience has taught me that I’m happy to write, and ecstatic for people to read my work.

The money earned is more on the practical side of things, a necessity that cannot be ignored if I want to write full-time. But knowing I’m in it for the love of writing means that I can happily throw myself into another project, without fear that a failure to sell well would be a crushing disappointment.

So, why would I recommend true crime writing to any author?

Because I believe that it can teach you a lot, no matter what genre you normally write in. You can explore the human psyche at its worst, as well as examining the motivations that drive you to write. You also learn an invaluable skill in terms of research, which can stand you in good stead when it comes to adding realism to your work. And, like me, you might just find that it is the right genre for you.

What has writing taught you about yourself? Think about it, and if you like, leave a comment and share.